“Potholes of Childhood” are universal trials and tribulations that children encounter during the period from drool to school. As a licensed family therapist I have treated many youngsters who have unceremoniously stumbled into one pothole or another. In each particular situation, the capacity to accurately understand the child’s accompanying emotional discomfort is an imperative operation. While it is psychologically beneficial to reflect an empathic understanding in such cases, I have frequently observed that many parents are limited in their ability to provide an effective mirroring or twinship response.
Subsequently, I find myself rendering this necessary parental function all too often. Although the recognition, validation, and empathy reserved for one’s feelings does not eliminate the existing pothole, it insures that the child will connect to an adult who can help pave the way.
To encourage the recognition of these potholes, I have written a series of psychologically oriented poems that I call PSYCHOETRY®.
Revealing the feeling of children through poetic verse is intended to promote a heightened sense of consciousness in an entertaining manner.
As the majority of parents were raised on either Mother Goose or Dr. Seuss, the presentation of rhyme may serve to enliven those childhood experiences that reside within each and every adult. If accuratelyunderstood, the illumination of forgotten memories can become a common ground that allows parent and child to stand/feel together. With an additional element of awareness in hand, any parent regardless of socioeconomic, environmental, or educational status will be able to confidently deliver a gift of empathic appreciation to the child who currently finds his or her pathway disrupted by a troublesome pothole.
Poetry.................................................................... about Psychology
Page THE APPARENT PARENT
1 The Extension of Good Intention
3 Introduction
6 Blank Slate/Tabula Rosa
Discovery.................................... Inquiring Minds Want To Know
8 Internalizing You
“Ma” & “Pa”................................................... The Dynamic Duo
10 Energizing Your Child
E=MC2.................................................................. Energy Crisis
12 Reaping What You Sow
Reciprocity............................ What Goes Around - Comes Around
14 Multi-Generational Transmittance Of Information
Forever Father............................................................. Pass It On
THE APPARENT POTHOLE
16 Mastery vs. Shame & Doubt
A Noble Accomplishment................................. Toilet (Re) Training
18 Control/Power Struggle
Food F(l)ight..................................................... Food for Thought
22 Object Permanence - Object Constancy
O.K-Mart.............................. Now You See Me . . . Now You Don’t
26 Separation Anxiety
Day One........................................................ Divide and Conquer
32 Inhibition
Doubtfulness..................................................... Without a Doubt
36 Toxic Words/Bullying
Somber Lament ................................. Preventing The Lamenting
40 Humiliation/Rejection
Exclusion....................................................... The No “I” In Team
44 Limit Setting/Optimal Frustration
Just Say No......................................................... It’s a Know - No
48 (In)Consistency
Get The Message................................................. I See You “I.C.U.”
50 Trust Versus Mistrust
The Balancing Act....................................................... Lean On Me
52 Loss
The Gold Flush................................................. After the Gold Flush
54 Fear/Night Terror
Surrounded..................................................................... Jeopardy!
58 Anticipatory Anxiety
Don’t Shoot................................................................ Points Of View
62 Transitional (Moving) Loss
Say Good-bye...................................................... Move It and Lose It
64 Industry Versus Inferiority
Walk or Whiff............................................................. Under Pressure
66 Sibling Rivalry
Family Feud............................................................... The “Sible” War
A Noble Accomplishment
Abandoned once more
by his trustworthy diaper
the king’s naked bottom
hangs over the throne
Sentenced by ruling
parents to do,
a chivalrous duty
and push with a groan
Thy regal bladder
must also be emptied
One crusading act
of grand consequence
Like a shining knight
upon white stallion,
poised on potty
for a gallant dispense
Here-ye, here-ye
gather round
The Castle Royalty
proudly announces,
“Today his majesty
made a tinkle
and a poop
weighing
twenty-four ounces!”
Toilet (Re)Training
Before you initiate the training of bladder and bowel control, it is
important to understand what you are about to RETRAIN. Up to this
point, the perpetrator of a soiled diaper has been taught that he or she
will be the benefactor of an emotional dividend.
Thewelcoming of your child’s excrementwith tenderness, and a responsible
care for cleanliness, has provided the contingency for an
eventful trade. In exchange for a variety of bodily waste, there shall arrive
the loving attention of a parent (trust), and the reestablishment of
a pleasurable affective state (comfort-security-esteem). Conscientious
parental care taking, in this manner, has both conditioned and reinforced
your child to perceive his or her natural resources as a valuable
commodity. It is therefore not surprising to find that RESISTANCEWILL
ACCOMPANY RETRAINING, as the distribution of this prized material
has become connected to feelings of entitlement, and an overall sense
of psychological prosperity.
Making the transition away from an open armed acceptance of
your child’s fool’s gold must not be rushed. Please keep in mind that
the teaching of “going potty,” now necessitates the sacrificial flushing
of a most wonderful gift that was manufactured especially for you. It
is paramount to create a positive atmosphere, where accomplishment
can be assured, and eagerly acknowledged.
Encouraging achievement through the praising or rewarding of
successive approximations (efforts that gradually approximate the desired
outcome) will insure that your child internalize an enhancing
experience of competence. Demanding/shaming are damaging tactics
that have the potential to serve as a detrimental source of critical
doubt, or inhibit the emergence of positive self regard.
"…a short and sweet book with sound insights and advice for parenting from infancy to school-age children. The poems go to the heart of the matter so that parents will be able to remember and connect to the information. His light, easy, and honest approach makes this book useful and a potential go-to for parents and child therapists alike."
CAMFT Book Reviews, July 2015
"We finally had a chance to review your book and liked it very much. Psychoetry is a sweet read that touches on many of the important aspects of parenting which many people may not consider on their own. It addresses specific ways to approach raising children that will help parents throughout all the stages of their kids' lives. We are adding Psychoetry to our Recommended Parenting Books under General Parenting."
Audrey Krisbergh, Director, The Center for Parenting Education
"I have read it several times now and find I'm more impressed with each reading. It's really a beautiful, unique, work of art! Your linking of poetry together with child development as a vehicle for communicating to parents how to cope with their child is beyond compare. You make parenting a joyful adventure filled with love and caring."
Claude Hill, Ph.D., Executive Director, Parkhill School, Los Angeles, CA
"More wisdom, charm, knowledge, wit, compassion poured out of this well written book, than I ever received in my past 65 years. My only sadness was I wanted more! Perhaps a sequel into adulthood, for all of us whose parents didn't have the benefit of your book, and sadly when we became parents, did not have the benefit of your guidance."
Ms. Ellen Fry, Grandmother
"I recently picked up a copy of Brian Wohlmuth’s Psychoetry. I found it to be informative and educational with a flair of humor, which made it fun to read. As a parent and grandparent I found it to be a quick study on many of the challenges new parents will experience. After reading it, I purchased additional copies for my two daughters. It is a book I recommend."
Richard Markota, Grandfather
Psychology Today: Therapists
Voice America: Guest Detail
Goodman Therapy
MEDIA APPEARANCES
● July 14, 2015 (Final 20 Minute Segment)
TogiNet Radio / Toginet.com
Parent Nation
Host: Tara Kennedy-Kline
● May 4, 2015
WCHE 1520 AM Chester County PA
Perspectives On Parenting / perspectiveonparenting.com
Host: Julia Sherwin
● April 7, 2015
What Is Psychoetry?
mattforrest.wordpress.com
On-line interview
● February 7, 2015
WECK 102.9 FM & 1230 AM Buffalo N.Y.
Parent Talk (3rd Segment)
Host: Linda O’Conner
Discussion of “parenting as energy,” and “universal potholes of childhood,” from Psychoetry: Lessons in Poetic Parenting.
● January 9, 2015
LA Talk Radio | The Mother Love Show
Host: Mother Love
Discussion of “universal potholes of childhood” from Psychoetry: Lessons in Poetic Parenting.
● June 24, 2013
KHTS Radio AM 1220 / Hometownstation.com
Life Leadership
Host: Alex Urbina
Brian Wohlmuth is a licensed mental health professional and published poet. His twenty-five years in private practice and special education have shaped his unique perspective in the field of child development. By combining Psychology & Poetry, Brian encourages parents to take a "T-Off Timeout,” and to embrace each child as an individual to be lovingly unfolded as well as thoughtfully molded.